A Journey into my Sick Psyche

Alvin and Hazel are taking swimming lessons every Saturdays at L.A.C.C. I thought I’d supplement their training by taking them to a public pool about three days a week. I took them yesterday to the EG Roberts Aquatic Center. Lanie, after having some surgery done on her tooth earlier in the day, had to stay home and recuperate. I was tasked to taking care of both kids myself.

I would say the trip was pretty productive. Alvin finally got the courage to try and float without panicking, and Hazel does the same thing, albeit next to the wall. She shows me she can let go of the wall, does this "flying" motions with her hand, and gushes proudly how she can float.

After about 45 minutes of this, there was a lifeguard change. It went from an overweight guy to this hot chick! Yummy. Now my attention was divided between Alvin, Hazel, and occasional glimpses to the lifeguard, just to –you know– see if she’s doing her job properly.

Unfortunately for me (well, for the three of us), she was actually doing her job. She approached me at the edge of the pool, looked at me lustfully, and then told me that there has to be one adult per kid to supervise kids under 7. Doh! I didn’t know someone can pour cold water on you while you’re in the pool!

Back in the showers, while I was cleaning up the kids, Hazel asked me why we were kicked out.

"She does not like us Daddy?" she inquired.

I replied that she was just following the pool rules, but what I really wanted to say was…